I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I pour the whiskey from now on
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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