Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
