Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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