i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
