no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
