I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize