im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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