I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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