Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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