Kareoke will never be a sober sport
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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