when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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