my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
