Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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