It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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