Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
