we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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