If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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