My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
