I just threw up on my dentist
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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