3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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