And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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