your parents love me but you hate me
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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