oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
