you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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