is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
