carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
