I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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