I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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