it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
