Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
