she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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