The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
