I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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