Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
