Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
