im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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