You made me cry and you don't even care
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
is it fun? or sober?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize