why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
