They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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