So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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