8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
