i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize