I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
