U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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