She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize