she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
