so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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