idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
