There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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