is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
