dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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