I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
