8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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