I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
