She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize