are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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