I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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