The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
