didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
