Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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