at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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