You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
