ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize