Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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