plz talk dirty to me
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
