even my farts smell like vagina
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
