quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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