Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
