i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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