YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
