Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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