That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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