i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
