U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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