What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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