if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
