I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
