Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
